I've been mulling over some things in scripture here lately. I admit this, full of regret, that it took Easter to get me back into the Word. I've been reading off and on lately, and struggle with spiritual discipline more than the next guy. However, this post is not about how I fall short. There's plenty of time to discuss that elsewhere. We were given a challenge at the start of Holy Week, to read a chapter of Matthew a day, (Starting with the 21) until Resurrection Sunday. For once, I actually did a challenge like this. In that, God showed me some amazing things about Christ that I have not seen before.
I want to fast forward a bit to Easter. I went to church with my family, at a church I attended for years. It was nice to see the familiar faces, give a few hugs, but largely I felt uncomfortable. Throughout the past three years, I've picked up a chip on my shoulder and a critical heart, (thankfully the Lord is healing that piece by piece) and so naturally, I dissected each dialogue, every hug, and every time someone would look my way and not speak. As we were starting worship, The worship leader asked us to stand and pray. I was instantly under the conviction of the Lord.
Who do I think I am, criticizing the House of God? Instead of coming into His house with thanks on the day that I celebrate the Resurrection and Victory of my Savior, I come in with an attitude of hatred, pride, and bitterness. I couldn't believe how selfish I was being. Seemingly enough, the moment I began repenting, God's presence was so tangible. I have not experienced the Lord in this way in quite some time. So, throughout the message, because I'm slightly ADD, I read the scriptures surrounding each passage the pastor brought up. In this, I saw something that shook me to the core.
Mary, the mother of Jesus- was chosen because of her willingness to trust God through suffering. I've always heard it taught that her purity was the reason she was chosen to carry and to raise the Son of the God. Yes, being a virgin was necessary, but there were plenty of people who fit that category. No one else, though, would be able to lose everything they had known - their reputation, dignity, potentially their fiance, and sacrifice their life for the call of Yahweh. Mary trusted God when He gave her a son. She trusted God when she was raising Jesus. She trusted God when He began travelling and ministering. And she trusted God when her son was ripped from her arms and beaten, mocked, and crucified an innocent man in front of her because of her own sin. Some think Job suffered the most aside from Jesus. Maybe Paul, with all of the persecution that He faced. I think Mary suffered more than anyone aside from Yeshua Himself. I could not imagine, being given a child by God, trusting him for thirty three years, and still having faith when God takes away the very child He gave me. I couldn't do it. That's too much grief. That's too much pain. That's too much hurt. Yet God got the most glory. It often takes pain to bring us to a place of brokenness, allowing God's strength to be made perfect in us. With the things I've been working through in counseling, I have wondered things like "Why me?" "Why do I have to face this pain?" "Why would you allow this, when you 'Protect' me?"
There is no honor, no glory, no victory without battle, struggle, and pain. It is worth it. Romans 8:28 says " And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who[a] have been called according to his purpose."
The pain and heartache you've faced in your life, will bring you to a place of closeness with the Lord IF you can surrender it to Him and receive the healing He has for you. Be it physical, emotional, mental, or spiritual sickness, God can use all things, circumstances, relationships, circumstances, etc. For your good. Our suffering is often the very chisel that shapes us into the image of Christ.
