Struggling Sheep, Hitting A Brick Wall.

I've been extremely frustrated spiritually in the past few weeks. I feel like I'm in a rut, and I don't know how to get out of it. I've been struggling in prayer, in the desire for the word, and just over all in fellowship with other believers. God has been doing something in me that isn't easy. He's been shedding light into the dark crevices of my heart. He has been cleaning out all the junk, and teaching me again how much i need him and his Grace. I struggle so much with self- sufficiency, as if i could ever be sufficient. hahaha. Wow. That will never happen. Unfortunately, my flesh doesn't realize that. I'm sucked dry emotionally, I've let little things creep in and distract me. From what? I'm not really sure. This isn't like before where i felt something was hindering me from witnessing, or from doing what i needed to do. This is different. Things have been distracting me from being still. I feel like i have to be doing something ALL THE TIME. God doesn't want that for me right now. He showed me that i was like clay, trying to throw itself off the wheel because I didn't want to wait for the Potter to mold me. Spiritual Suicide. That's what I've been doing. I have refused to let God work in me, because I don't want to take the down time to get to know him better. How dumb is that? UGH. I'm definitely a struggling sheep, who feels like she's hitting a brick wall. But, I'll get through it. Sorry,

Rant over.

You never know.

Sometimes, we feel like God loves us. Sometimes, we don't. Today I saw what the lack of knowing God's love can do to someone. Not understanding God's love can leave holes in your faith bigger than your faith itself. One of the foundational things we build our lives around as Christians is the fact of God's love. The word says God's love is unfailing. A scripture that has been on my heart lately is Song of Solomon 2:4. His banner over me is LOVE. Know what that means? It means that God places a sign over me, a sign of his love. A sign that he has invested his heart in me. His love hovers over me, for all the world to see. Not understanding that his love doesn't fade, disappear with my wrongdoing, falter every time i fail, or change with the weather is hard. It's a love unlike one the world has ever known. It's hard to adjust to the idea that you can be accepted as you are. Loved for everything you are right at this moment. With every sin, every hurt, every scar that hasn't healed, and every dark part of you. God loves the good, the bad, and the ugly. As you are, this second. You are loved unconditionally.

Now that we've established that, I want to personally ask you to pray for God's love to rule over your heart, mind, soul, and life. Today I witnessed what a lack of love can do to someone. It can hurt. Even drive them to a point of suicide. When we aren't fulfilling our roles as the body of Christ, it hinders people from seeing God's love for them. It begins with us, and our relationship with Jesus. However, if we never do anything with that love that has been given to us, then what is the point? Do we really think that the purpose of this life is to master sonship and neglect brotherhood? If so, you need to read the word a little more. Life is not about us. It's about allowing Christ to reach out to others through us, in order to bring them into relationship with the Father. This is what it's about. Bringing others to the Father's love.

Tonight, I pray that God's love would be revealed to you in a new way. That you would be engulfed in his presence, and overwhelmed with a sense of confidence in Christ. May God give you the boldness to be his hands and feet, and a funnel of his love into the dry hearts of the broken. I pray blessings over you, and an extra measure of Love and compassion to be added unto your spirit. In Jesus name, Amen.

Be blessed, and never be scared to reach out. You never know who needs it the most.